The Medical Paradox
It's no secret how I feel about modern medicine. While it has saved my life more than a few times, when I got sick with something no doctor understood, modern medicine's apathy almost took me down. Hindsight is so clear, and looking back nine years later I can contribute a significant amount of my suffering with chronic illness to a lack of medical acceptance. Being sick sucks. Being sick for a lifetime sucks harder. And being sick for a lifetime, and nobody believing you, well, it doesn't take a genius to point out that's like taking a slow boat ride to crazy.
For so many years just thinking about the way doctors dismissed, degraded, belittled and judged me used to send me into an epic meltdown of Chernobyl proportions. Luckily my heart and soul have healed a little, and my mind is determined to evade negativity, so I can now talk about it without anger-hives breaking out all over my face. It's what happened, and getting all hot and bothered over a past I cannot change is futile. Had I not found a way to turn the disease train around, however, I don't know if such a detached, observant point of view would be mine.
There is no substitute for a competent and compassionate doctor for anyone with chronic illness. Tons of malfunctions are occurring within many different bodily systems, which frequently aren't the same for any two patients. Once I found a doctor interested in treating me as a patient, not just a disease profile, my symptoms became far more manageable. Of course the bevy of prescription medications that go along with modern medicine's theory on how to treat chronic illness created another nightmare entirely, but I didn't know there was another way. Now I do. My doctor has become someone who I see for health maintenance, not someone I expect to heal me. She makes sure my thyroid is balanced and metabolic panel in the healthy range. Every other bit of progress came about when I stopped obsessing over what was making me sick, and started investing my efforts in being healthy.
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