Sugar, Alcohol And The Price We Pay

I don't know about you all but I sure indulged over the holiday weekend! I ate, drank and was merry for a rollicking 3 days straight. I ate cookies, cheesecake, chocolate and bread pudding. I drank brandy & eggnog, sangria, champagne and red wine (not all at once!). I ate pork shoulder, filet mignon, stuffed salmon and pretty much as much as I possibly could! I have not done yoga or walked the dogs in days. I had fun indulging and pretending there would be no consequences for my actions. Was it worth it? I don't know, the jury is still out. But I woke up this morning with a SPLITTING headache. Not a stroke headache, not to worry, but a bad one none the less. My body hurts, I am not sure what the word motivation means, or if I have ever even heard it before, and am in a post-holiday flare to rival all flares! I am tired, achy, whiny, lazy and...still in bed at 2:30 in the afternoon! I did manage to take Yorkie & Porkie out and feed them breakfast at least, but that is LITERALLY all I have done today. And I feel not one bit guilty for indulging my self-induced symptoms, for I need to recoup in order to regroup and don't regret enjoying my holiday.

It is insane this tight little balance beam I must walk in order to keep my Fibromyalgia symptoms in check. One slight misstep, one itty-bitty sway, and I am knocked off and have to climb a proverbial mountain to get back on again. I allowed myself to go WAY off the reservation this last weekend and sit here in a post-gorged daze, wondering how to get back on track, how long it will take. This is life with Fibromyalgia. Constantly having to weigh action vs. consequence. The foot-loose and fancy free girl from my youth is now a calculatingly careful decision maker, knowing that for every action there is a reaction. Most of the time I chose wisely. But the times I do not I pay dearly without fail.

I have spent years beating myself up for this pattern. So irritated with myself when I feel bad. So mad I made the choices I made. But that kinda defeats the purpose of the enjoyment of the indulgence and I have learned to release my expectations of perfection. I can now accept that 3 days of excess leads to at least 1 day in bed. I no longer beat myself up or get mad at myself. I may feel terrible and have a journey ahead of me to get my balance back, and sure won't be doing this again anytime soon, but man 'o man did I have fun! Practicing the art of acceptance and forgiveness of oneself is a lifelong journey. So as I resign myself to a day in bed, snuggled up with my snoozing pups, I am grateful for the fun I had over the holiday and anticipate resuming my normal activities that keep my Fibromyalgia managed tomorrow. I just wish  that darn cheesecake would stop calling my name from the kitchen...

Thanks for joining,
Leah

P.S. I am trying to improve the visibility of this blog. If you are a fan and on Facebook please click on "Blog" from The Fibromyalgia Fun House page and "Follow" Chronicles Of Fibromyalgia on Networked Blogs. It will improve our search engine rankings and get the word out faster! Thanks friends!

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