Christmas Is On It's Way

Christmas is one week from today. Actually, seeing as Christmas Eve is considered Christmas, it is 6 days from today. I have yet to put 1 ornament on my tree that has been up for over a week with just the lights on (it comes that way). I have yet to buy 1 gift for anyone and don't plan on it seeing as I have no money. I have not sent 1 card or even taken the family photo that is the card yet. Basically, it could be the middle of July and I would have done nothing different over the last few weeks except drag the tree from the garage into the apartment. I would not so much say I am lacking in Christmas spirit, I am just dealing with other issues in my life and am not giving it the proper frenzy it expects. I have worked retail the last 10 years and Christmas has always been a miserable holiday for me. Working at 5am, staying open until midnight, the sales pressure, the 6 days a week 10 hours a day on your feet nightmare that is retail Christmas. Oh I am so grateful to not have to work it this year. Maybe that is why I am doing the ostrich head in the sand to Christmas, just pretending it is not happening. It has commanded way too much of my attention in years past and this is my attempt to balance.

We will buy the puppies some gifts and wrap them pretty under the tree. Yorkie unwraps gifts and it is one of the funnier things to watch. He even has his own special dog paper, but he already knows which ones are for him without it. This year he will have to share with his sister and that should be an interesting one. Porkie needs a stocking, too. So I guess I will technically be buying a few gifts but the $40 we spend on the children doesn't really count. It is awkward, though, to try and opt out of gift giving with the family. I cannot receive without giving, it just feels wrong, and I know people are going to give us gifts! I have made it very clear we are not exchanging this year, for if my husband is not getting one, no one else is either! But people don't listen. They get caught up in the excitement of giving and don't realize how embarrassing it is not to be able to afford to exchange even small gifts. My aunt came to visit today and brought us a few fun things, and I gave her a The Fibromyalgia Crusade awareness band! I felt so stupid! She liked it and wanted one anyway, and even bought one for her friend, but still... It is impossible to escape Christmas! And it is not even Christmas itself I have the problem with, it is all the rest of the excessiveness that goes with it. We are going to church, hanging out with our loved ones and enjoying time together. That is what Christmas is about for us this year. We are counting our blessings, which are numerous and bountiful, and enjoying the gifts of each other. And I can guarantee you, come February when no exorbitant credit card bills come due, I will be glad we did it this way!

Thanks for joining,
Leah

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