What I Am

I am a woman that still thinks of herself as a girl. Somehow I wound up at the age of 34 but am not really sure how that happened or where the time has gone. I appreciate the wisdom in my head, the knowledge in my soul, the harmony in my heart that comes with age and experience. But man I miss the vigor and energy and sweet denial of consequences that encompass youth! I am a woman that has learned how different life can be when illness plagues your days, becomes your reality. I am a devout wife to a husband worthy of my devotion. I am married to my best friend, the one that knows me better than anyone in the world. He loves me for who I am, all my faults and flaws and quirks and oddities. He is not scared off by my illnesses, the multiples of them that I have, is actually deeply impressed by my fight, and likes my personality and refusal to conform to the norm. I am a loving daughter that has forgiven my parents for any hurt they unwittingly caused me along the way while trying to live their lives and raise their daughter. I live in the freedom of that forgiveness and that has greatly improved the quality of my life. I am a supportive sister to a developmentally disabled and mentally ill brother that challenges my patience and makes me laugh with his off the wall perceptions of things. I am a puppy-mommy that does not know what I did with myself before I got my babies. They bring a brightness and happiness to my day that I never found anywhere else. I am a woman of strong faith and I say my prayers every day before I eat and sleep and go to church Sunday mornings. I embody the Leo stereotype and am a fierce lioness, loyal to those I love and will stop at nothing to protect them.

When I left my corporate makeup artist job and ventured into the foreign land of cyber-world to start this blog I made a conscious decision that I was not going to hide who I really am. I am going to be up front and honest and straightforward. I have 7 tattoos and no intention of stopping any time soon. I have some very liberal social values and some very conservative ones too, it just depends on the issue.  I listen to rap and hip-hop and can still recite every word to Too Short's Don't Fight The Feeling. I subscribe to Vogue and Maxim and I read the articles and look at the pictures in both of them. I was an unruly teenager that did drugs and drank alcohol and ran with the wrong crowd and drove my parents crazy. I was a party-girl in college and consumed more than my fair share of liquor but somehow managed to graduate anyway. I am blunt and sarcastic and use humor, often of the dark and sardonic variety, to define my reality. I wear low-cut tops that show a bit of cleavage and don't have a problem with it and don't plan on stopping any time soon. I figure if my Priest and 93 year old Grandma can deal with my tattoos and cleavage then anyone else can too. I take pride in my appearance and feel much better when I have myself primped and pressed and prettied for the day.

I am leading this crusade towards awareness and wellness for Fibromyalgia as I am. I am not interviewing for a spot on Good Morning America, am not running for City Council or president of the PTA and have no desire to conform to any image that anyone else thinks I should have. I am strong in myself and if others find me offensive then guess what? Move it...get on your way! I am a kind and compassionate person that has been through more than my fair share of hardships in life and don't stand for disrespect or chaos. I am leading this crusade because I firmly believe that if we, the Fibromyalgia patients of the world, organize and mobilize we can truly make a difference in the reality of living with this illness. I believe this is a necessary movement to educate as many people, doctors, family and friends as possible and get our symptoms managed so we can exist with a decent quality of life while science and medicine suss out a cause and cure! I am also devoting my life to this and it is my business, one that I hope will start making some money soon since I am no longer employed. I will be selling items on my blog, awareness items that serve a dual purpose to keep me up and running and bring attention to our cause. That is what I am doing here. I am not here to play games with crazy people. A little nuts is necessary to survive the madness that is Fibromyalgia, but I am not here for someone to bundle all their frustration and dysfunction and histrionics together so they can take them out on me. I am here to stand proud and tall in who I am and the illness I have and work tirelessly and relentlessly to improve the quality of life so many of us are simply missing!

Thanks for joining,
Leah

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